Don't Burn Bridges, You Might Need Them Someday...View #3 Avoiding the Riptide

The previous two posts focused on how an employee and a supervisor should handle resignations.  This one is for the teammates left behind…

Here we go.  As if life is not crazy enough, now everything at work is changing.  Your teammate is leaving, rumors may be flying and you have no idea what is going on. 

How are you going to handle this?

Unfortunately many people in this situation jump right in the churning waters.  They join hushed conversations filled with distorted facts, personal agendas and unfounded fears.  As if they were in a riptide, the undercurrent drags them in deeper and deeper and they do not even realize it.  Their own personal job dissatisfaction rises as their standards for work performance lowers.  The career life becomes more and more miserable and it impacts everything.  

Why does it have to be that way?

Imagine a different approach.  If someone leaves, even if we are close to them, why can’t we just wish them well and say goodbye?  Doing our best to avoid the hushed conversations and not buy into the latest gossip would lead to……peace of mind.  Yes, peace of mind.  The angst and chaos of rumors and exaggerated facts would not matter.  What matters is the work you do, how you are personally treated and why this is the best career option for you.

What if the concerns are real?!

Poor management happens and there may be real issues which caused this departure.  Again, it is your choice how to handle it.  Yes, a choice.  We choose to work where we do.  Really!  We choose!  We choose to have the cars we drive, the homes we live in and all the other financial choices we make that influences where we choose to work.  Therefore, we have to remember that if the scales tip and our quality of work life is so out of balance with our needs than we must reassess our work choices.  Don’t throw the towel in too quickly, though.  First, you need to talk to your direct supervisor about your concerns.  Prepare yourself for this conversation.  Make your notes, think it through carefully and present the facts.  If that doesn’t work, consider the next in the direct chain of command or human resources or both.  Try to take your emotions out of this and approach the management in a calm, cool and collected manner.  Hopefully you are in a progress organization which embraces employee involvement and you are able to effect positive change.  If it doesn’t work out, then you have to consider your next and best career options, plus you will refer back to the first blog in this series for insight on how to separate from a company!

As was noted in the last two blog posts:  Why should you care?  

Your career is your reputation.  If you get sucked into the undercurrent and don’t handle these situations correctly, the poor reflection will be back on you and it will affect your own future.  As I noted before, you never know when you will meet a past colleague or employer and people do remember.  Take ownership of your own career and work life – do not get sucked into the undercurrent.  

It isn’t easy but it is the right thing to do and don’t be afraid to ask for guidance.  RD Advisory Group is here to help individuals as well as organizations.  We can help you understand how to handle difficult situations and how to find that balance of financial needs and work life balance.  Working with people on their career paths is one of our areas of expertise so let us help you with that!

Now that this mini-series is over, please stay tuned for more insights on careers, relationships and business life.  As always, stay positive and the results will amaze you!

Thank you for joining me on this journey.   Comments and questions are welcome.  Please go to my webpage, www.rdadvisorygroup.com for more information on an assessment of your current business functions. If you would like to read my previous blogging efforts, please go to: www.managingbusinessacument@blogspot.com. 

View #2 of Don't Burn Bridges, You Might Need Them Someday...

The last post focused on how an employee should exit a job.  This one is for the employer/supervisor’s point of view…

It has happened.  Your team member has turned in their letter of resignation.  Change is imminent.  Now it is time to face your own emotions.  Yes, emotions.  Do you feel betrayed?  Angry?  Or, maybe you are relieved.  You could even be happy.  Regardless, there are real emotions that must be acknowledged and addressed.  

Why?  What difference does it make?  

The manner in which you handle an employee’s departure can make a huge impact with the remaining team members.  They will be watching and, even more important for you to realize – talking.  Talking to each other, to their family members, to their outside contacts and yes, especially to the team member who is leaving.  While you cannot control what people say, you can help to change the tone.  There is a need to understand that the core substance of many of these conversations will be their concerns.  They are losing a teammate.  Whether they like the person or not, the departure will raise questions.  Most times, it comes back to the simple who, what, where, why and how.

Who will do the work?  What will be done to replace them?  Where does this leave me?  Why are they leaving? How will we manage? 

To help alleviate concerns, it is incumbent on you, the employer/supervisor, to set the internal tone for the departure.  Doing so will mean you have to put your personal feelings aside.  Of course, sometimes that is easier said than done.  First, meet with the team member.  Try to understand why they are leaving.  It may be as simple as the need to move out of the area or it may be a more complex reflection of the internal culture.  Understand it.  Own it.  Which leads to the next step.  Accountability.  Your actions or lack thereof might have played a role in their decision to leave.  Spend time with your own thoughts on the subject, reach out to your mentors for advice and if you need to, make changes.  Next, keep your remaining team members engaged.  Answer their questions and work with them for a positive process of change. 

Finally, no matter how well or poorly the departing team member acts, you must rise above.  Doing so will maintain and grow trust with your remaining team.  To help, here are some tips for you to remember:

1. Do not speak negatively about the team member and their departure.  If anyone asks, you are hope they find much success in the future.
2. Do not treat them harshly or in any way that is out of the norm.  It should be business as usual.
3. Do not fill your team with any fears that they will have more work to do or that the person is irreplaceable.  Assure them that you will work with them to make sure the important tasks are covered and their efforts will be optimized.
4. Do keep your team informed on the replacement process and its progress. 
5. Do take time to individually meet with your team.  Listen and as much as possible, address their concerns.  Ask them for input on the personality and skills that would be a good fit for the role. 
6. Absolutely do take this as an opportunity to review job functions and make improvements for the future of the department.

It is important to always keep in mind that a positive relationship must be maintained with the person who is departing.  The connection will always be there.  Whether they move to a competitor, vendor or your own client’s business, they will always have worked for you.  Make their last work experiences with you be positive ones. 

There is a benefit to all of this we have not discussed yet.  In keeping the departure experience positive, you might actually avoid adding to the undercurrent of past employees – you know – those people who were never “friends” while they worked together but have now united to try to undercut your efforts.  There is nothing you can do to stop them, but you can avoid giving them fuel for their conversations.  After all, if you treat someone well as they depart it gives them one less item to complain about and the experience becomes one of their lasting memories.

As was noted in the last blog post:  Why should you care?  

You spend your energy building a great team, don’t let one departure destroy the trust you have built.  Focus on the positivity of your team’s future rather than the negativity of the past.  It isn’t easy but it is the right thing to do and don’t be afraid to ask for guidance.  RD Advisory Group is here to help.  There are always multiple views to the same situation and we can work with you to achieve the best outcome for your team’s future and ultimately your combined success.

This is a complex topic and there is at least one more view point.  The final installment in this series will be from the view point of the teammates who are left behind.   Stay tuned and as always, stay positive!

Thank you for joining me on this journey.   Comments and questions are welcome.  Please go to my webpage, www.rdadvisorygroup.com for more information on an assessment of your current business functions. If you would like to read my previous blogging efforts, please go to: www.managingbusinessacument@blogspot.com. 

Don't burn bridges, you will need them someday!

View #1: Employee's Point of View

It is time to go.  You have reached the point that change must be made.  The job doesn’t suit you anymore and you don’t suit the job.  Maybe it was the environment.  Maybe it was the work.  Maybe it was you.  For whatever reason, change is imminent and you have to decide how you are going to handle it.

Decide?  Yes, it is a conscience decision.  It is your choice whether you leave a positive legacy or not.  Remember, you have two important points to consider – the moral and the tactical aspects.   If you follow your morals, you will leave knowing you did your best and held yourself to the highest standards.  In thinking tactically, you must consider the need for references, future contacts and even the potential need to return to the job.  Both aspects must be integrated into your exit strategy.

The first step in leaving a job is the understanding that you are leaving work you may or may not like, but you know it.  You leave your daily patterns and comfort zone.  You leave your…“friends.”  

So, where do you begin?  Well, obviously the first step is to inform your direct supervisor.  Not your co-workers.  Not your “friends.”  Your supervisor.  Like them or not, they deserve to know first.  It is generally best to write a letter of resignation.  Depending on the situation, it may not be an easy letter to write but in any situation be cordial, hold your opinions to yourself and wish the company future success.  The way you handle this first step sets the tone for your departure and your future relationship with the company. 

Future relationship?  What future relationship could there be when you just turned in your resignation?!

The nature of the relationship may change but, tactically, the connection is always there.  

First and foremost, the most obvious is the need of a reference and you certainly want your last impressions to be positive ones.  Next is the likelihood you would encounter past employers and coworkers in your local community.  It happens all the time.  You may be in a social or community setting or you may be in a business setting – a sales call, a vendor visit or even a future interview.  How comfortable would that be if you don’t successfully manage your exit strategy?   

In exiting with grace, and yes, sometimes more grace than the employer deserves, you set the standard for those around you.  Clearly, you demonstrate higher morals and people do take notice.  It might be within your own family or with other members of your team.  The world is small and you never know who you will encounter at your next sales call, job interview or child’s event.  

However, your exit strategy doesn’t end there.  How do you handle your “job after-life?”  Do you fall into the negative undercurrent of others who have left?  Be careful, it does exist.  People you rarely spoke to or interacted with will suddenly be your best post-job friends.  The conversations will inevitably turn to the latest gossip from your past employer and the negative excitement of hoping they will fail. 

Consider this; is that really how you want to focus your future? 

Also consider how this could morally or tactically effect your relationship with your past employer. Rumors usually make their way back to past employers and if you think they don’t know you are part of the undercurrent, you are wrong.   

Why should you care? If you just spent your energy exiting with grace why would you ruin it by joining the undercurrent.  Let go.  Move on.  Focus on the positivity of your future rather than the negativity of the past.  It isn’t easy but it is the right thing to do and don’t be afraid to ask for guidance.  RD Advisory Group isn’t here just for businesses – we are here to help you too.  There are always multiple views to the same situation and we can work with you to achieve the best outcome for your future and ultimately your success.

Now speaking of other views…this is actually the first in a short series.  View #1 is from the employee, next up will be the view of the same situation from the past employer.  Stay tuned and as always, stay positive!

Thank you for joining me on this journey.   Comments and questions are welcome.  Please go to my webpage, www.rdadvisorygroup.com for more information on an assessment of your current business functions. If you would like to read my previous blogging efforts, please go to: www.managingbusinessacument@blogspot.com. 

The Real Realities

Please think back about ten, maybe even fifteen, years ago…what was different in our culture?  What weren’t we exposed to?  Any ideas? 

By the title of this blog, you may have guessed where I am going: very few reality shows existed. 

Now every network has some sort of reality show and after a few years, they all seem to take the same turn.  The shows become more scripted with ever increasing amounts of drama.  The problems become more and more inflated, as do the personalities.  Conflict, revenge, hate become accepted, even encourage.  It has been such an imperceptible infiltration that we don’t think about what has all of this done to the cultures in our workplaces and worse yet, our homes!  After all, how many of these shows are now based on “real-life” professions?  

However, if you really think about it, you have to wonder how real are they…

In the interest of full disclosure, there are a few shows I do like and some of the car shows are among my favorites.  What I won’t do is watch are the shows that personally pit people against people.  The shows that encourage “alliances” to be formed while the producers show the same people plotting against their “team”.  It becomes survival of the “fittest” or in most cases, the most nasty.  The worse you are to others, the more likely you are to win.  

Is that really what we should be exposing ourselves to?  That level of negativity and distrust is so harmful and toxic.  How do we not take the experiences we have watched unfold into the context of our own business world – our real reality?  

In a business culture, the team must come first. Trust is the crucial element.  The individual team members must trust that their own success comes by helping others succeed.  The better we treat others, the more likely you are to succeed.  None of these are new concepts, yet we still have to get out of the mindsets and culture of reality television.  It is not real!  We are real.  Our lives our real.  Our families are real.  Our business cultures are real.  Do you honestly think the “Real Housewives” are real?

It is so easy to fall into the negative.  We want attention for ourselves.  We crave attention to validate the work we do.  We search for fulfillment of our egos at every turn.  It is so easy to fall into the trap of obtaining our needs at the expense of others.  Yet, when we do, the attention doesn’t really meet our needs – or at least, it shouldn’t.  Gaining personal progress at the expense of others doesn’t come close to be as rewarding as helping the personal progress of someone else.  

Don’t believe me…try it sometime!  Help someone else succeed.  Yes, it takes time and, yes, it isn’t easy.  Just watch though, as their mistrust will turn into gratitude.   It gets even better when they turn and help someone else.  Now we are building a real culture.  Now we are building a team built to succeed!  

So, how do you get everyone else on board?  It could be within an internal committee, set up with the goal to engage and improve culture.  You could use a third person to come in so as to facilitate better one-on-one, group and company-wide interactions.  Even a book club to focuses on positive, helpful discussions will open communications.  There are so many avenues you could take, so let’s get started.  Please let me help you! Let’s take those first steps to reclaiming our culture.  Our positivity.  Our realities!!!

Thank you for joining me on this renewed journey.  I welcome comments and questions.  Please go to my webpage, www.rdadvisorygroup.com for more information on an assessment of your current business functions. If you would like to read my previous blogging efforts, please go to: www.managingbusinessacument@blogspot.com.